Monthly Archives: March 2014

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24 Hours Is All You Need To Reconnect

4 High School Friends

Just had a fabulous time with some friends from high school in NYC.  It has been five years since we all got together, and we wondered why it took us so long to organize another trip.  Are we really that busy that we can’t grab a quick 24 hours away from our families?  It’s sad that we forget to make time with girlfriends a priority in our lives.

My girls’ weekend was a much needed respite from the daily grind, a temporary escape from the things weighing on my mind lately.  I was reminded that everyone has problems.  Everyone has kids that have “issues,” injuries, drive you nuts, etc.  It was so refreshing to get a chance to vent, to tell stories, go out to lunch, shop and catch up on what is going on in my friends’ lives.  I have felt so alone with some of my struggles over the years and I didn’t have to be. I just needed to stop being afraid to reach out and be honest with people.

On our trip, we reminisced about high school, laughed about the stupid stuff that we did, teachers that we had, guys we dated.  We saw a show and had amazing seats (7th row) for Kinky Boots (a rare treat).  FABULOUS show!!  If over-the-top drag queens can’t put you in a good mood then nothing ever will 🙂

It was great to be around women that know me so well and still think that I am ok after knowing the good, the bad and really ugly.  The weekend lifted my spirits and gave me the strength to leave NYC and face my world again.

I highly recommend texting your friends and scheduling your next get together. Do it right now. It’s worth it.

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“Parents teach in the toughest school in the world — The School for Making People. You are the board of education, the principal, the classroom teacher, and the janitor….You are expected to be experts on all subjects pertaining to life and living….There are few schools to train you for your job, and there is no general agreement on the curriculum. You have to make it up yourself.

Your school has no holidays, no vacations, no unions, no automatic promotions or pay raises. You are on duty or at least on call 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, for at least 18 years for each child you have. Besides that, you have to contend with an administration that has two leaders or bosses, whichever the case may be — and you know the traps two bosses can get into with each other. Within this context you carry on your people-making. I regard this as the hardest, most complicated, anxiety-ridden, sweat and blood producing job in the world.”  

– Virginia Satir, a leader in the family therapy field

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Does Anyone Else Miss Paper Towels in Bathrooms?

I know it’s not PC to admit that you like using paper towels in bathrooms but I have to admit that I really miss those paper towel dispensers.

I know that these fancy air dryers are saving trees and keeping the bathroom cleaner.  I get it, but honestly, it takes so much longer to dry your hands under the dumb dryer and I just end up wiping my hands on my pants.  I will give kudos to Nordstrom who probably has the best air dryers around, but even so, there’s something freaky about g-force winds sucking the water off your hands before you leave the bathroom.

Can’t you just put some paper out with the dryers so that those of us who want a paper towel can get one?  Is it too much to ask?  I promise I will put my paper towel in the trash can.

 

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So Tired of The Gray Cover Up

Tired of Coloring Hair

When I was sixteen I remember sitting in the hairdresser’s chair trying desperately to get a haircut that would make me look like one of the models in SEVENTEEN.

My mother insisted that we go her hairdresser, Maureen, a stylist with a mind of her own who did what SHE wanted to your hair. “Just a trim” meant two inches had to go because in her mind there was just too much “damage.”  God, if she could only see me now after 20+ years of hair color.  Damage is an understatement.

Anyway, I didn’t have a great love for Maureen, and that day, as she was butchering my hair and making me look 30 instead of 16 she exclaimed, “Oh my God, look at this – a gray hair,” and then she plucked it from my head.  I did not believe her at first, but when she showed me the long gray hair there was no denying it.  I was horrified but moved on.  I mean, I was only 16.  It was a fluke – right?

Fast forward almost 30 years later, thousands of wasted hours and dollars later, and I am still fighting a losing battle against my full head of gray hair.  Would you know that my hair is solid white?  Hell no, you would not because I spend every 2 weeks coloring it, hiding it and maintaining it.  But my hair grows fast and is very thick.  A great head of hair, but a nightmare for someone who is constantly sprouting skunk stripes.

One of my friends cracks me up because she has a friend who went gray and posts selfies of herself in all her gray glory on FB.  She sends me photos of the gray lady all the time saying, “Don’t do it.  Look how old it makes you look.”  She’s right. I know it.  But I just want to stop the madness.  Enough is enough already.  When can I just be me? 

Sigh.  I think the answer is never.

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My Name Is Not Rachel . . . So Why Do I Answer To It?

hi-rachel2

Ok.  I don’t understand this but I am constantly called Rachel.  Rachel (RAY- CHULL) is not the same name as Raquel (RAH –KELL).  They are not spelled the same, pronounced the same and are entirely different names yet inevitably, by the end of every conversation, the person I am talking to says “bye Rachel” to me. UGH – and like a dope I cheerfully say “bye” right back and I don’t remind them that my name is Raquel.  Why do I do that??

I have gotten so used to it that when someone says “Rachel” I just answer to it.  The nurse in the doctor’s office will starting asking for “Rachel” to come on back, so I just get up and go whether or not there is a real Rachel in the room (and sometimes there is actually a Rachel — embarrassing!).

It’s like calling Carrie the name Karen or Donna the name Diana.  They are two different names right?  Don’t you get mortified when you call someone the wrong name? I even had someone that I thought knew me pretty well call me Rachel at Home Depot the other day.  I was bummed but answered to it anyway.  Maybe I’ll start an “I am not Rachel campaign” and see what happens.  In fact, I’m declaring right now that I’m going to start correcting people from this day on.

No more Rachel for this Raquel.

Do you get called the wrong name?  Do you tend you call others the wrong name?  Let me know!